1. When you’re getting checked for skin cancer and the doctor leaves the room for you to undress, you don’t just get completely naked and sit there in your nakedness waiting for her to come in — especially when they have a 17-year-old intern with them (this is what the gown is for).
2. Strong character always trumps a high GPA.
3. Don’t give your social security number to a TJ Maxx cashier just to get a free rewards card.
4. Don’t pre-game the pre-game. It’ll ruin your night and everyone else’s.
5. Her success is not your failure.
6. Being healthy isn’t being skinny. It’s a mixture of physical, mental, and emotional components.
7. If you run out of laundry detergent, don’t just rely on water for the next two months. Your mom will kill you when she finds out you pulled that ratchet move.
8. There is a difference between true love and an unhealthy obsession.
9. A Goodwill store, especially in a rich neighborhood, is a godsend.
10. If the Great Value brand gets the job done, then why spend more money?
11. Stop trying to prove yourself to everyone. Let your success be your noise.
12. Don’t try to pierce yourself. Anywhere. Don’t. Do. It.
13. There are a LIMITED amount of times you can transfer your savings to your checkings before you get charged.
14. Have fun and let go. Productivity is the result of a good couple rest days.
15. Mom on Venmo might seem like a good idea until she sees that you paid Sarah $40 for “Shotz at da clerb let’s get figgidy” at 2 am.
16. You think you peaked in high school but remind yourself of Jenna’s glow up in 13 going on 30.
17. Simplicity is a blast. Starting a book, trying a new recipe, texting someone you haven’t talked to in a while, shoveling Nutella into your mouth alone on a Friday night . . . that’s the good stuff.
18. If you want your words to be effective, less is more. Think about Hemingway’s six-word novel: “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.” Incredible.
19. You can do whatever you think you can do.
20. It will be hard for others to love you until you can love yourself.